“All those sceptics and pessimists who thought nothing good can come out of Nigeria have been shamed; and we will continue to shame them. They think our government institutions and those who call the shots there only talk; they associate our leaders only with corruption. But now we are out to prove them all wrong. All of them.”
“You really must have had a good time and a good reason to be speaking so very optimistically. Are you saying there are no liars and thieves and corrupt people who prefer to pocket public money while selling us dummies in the names of achievements?”
“I am not surprised at all by your response. I know that you will side with our critics. People like you should not be talking when we are talking. How can you always see the negative side of our people and country?”
“Well, at least you admit there is a negative side to our people and country...”
“Like it is everywhere you go. Or do you think it is all sweet, transparent and problems-free in other countries? Even in the so-called developed countries of the world, we have sour and bitter tales of woe. The only reason you may not know about them so much is because their media bombards us with the negative side of our own areas; they never talk about theirs.”
“And, are you then saying, for instance, that when a federal minister goes to a major expressway, the Benin-Ore Expressway, and sheds tears because of the poor state of the road; and vows to see something is done, and a few months down the road, all is forgotten while that road continues to deteriorate, that is not a fact as it is on ground?”
“Why are you picking on just one case?”
“Because up till now, that road has still not received any appreciable attention – in fact, no attention at all has been paid to it despite the fact that it is a very busy and critical road linking the west to the east of the country.”
“Maybe you should wait till you hear the federal budget for 2010; you will then know how much has been budgeted for roads, for electricity, for water, for healthcare, for...”
“And that is the crux of the matter. We are always budgeting; and when we budget, we do so in billions. Soon, I tell you, we will be budgeting in trillions and thereafter in zillions. But year after year, what becomes of the budget and of the budgeted sums?”
“Well, you know that when the money is not used, it goes back to the federal purse at the end of every year. Is that not a good system?”
“What nonsense are you talking about? If our ministers, and I mean all of them, if they are ever serious, how on earth could any ministry return back money to the treasury at the end of each budget year, when there is so much out there still to be done? How on earth should such be heard of? Are they saying they have met all the needs of the citizenry and still have some money left?”
“No; that’s not the point. It is to show you that they are transparent.”
“You’re wrong. They originally do not wish to spend that money; and as has happened in the past, once the year is getting to an end, they would award spurious contracts with huge sums, the sums of which usually disappeared into their pockets. That was what the new rule that says if you don’t spend return to the treasury is out to check. But the question I want you, Mr. Government Man, to answer is: what sector of our economy is there that still does not need attention?”
“It is not an issue of attention. It is just that some of these our leaders are very busy people. So, they may not see some of the things you are complaining about.”
“Busy indeed! Busy doing what? Busy junketing around the world and spending money that should be used to solve all of the country’s problems?”
“But you know that the problems are being tackled head on...”
“Oh yes! The problems are being tackled head-on. Just like the 6,000 megawatts of electricity that we were meant to achieve this December. No doubt, the so called minister has achieved 36,000 megawatts; right? They are tackling the problems by placing witch-hunting as their number priority while the real problems are left unattended.”
“Well, talking about the 6,000 megawatts of electricity, December 2009 has not ended yet; has it?”
“No, it has not ended yet; so, we will achieve in one week what we could not achieve in one year. Is that not what you mean? Okay, take another critical sector: health! Ever since Prof. Olikoye Ransome-Kuti, have we had any health minister that knows what must be done about healthcare?”
“What are you talking about? We have an excellent health minister currently. Don’t you know him?”
“Of course, I know him. We have an excellent health minister, right? A minister whose best achievement will be that he talked about Swine Flu, he goes on national television unashamedly to talk just about Swine Flu as if that is the number one health problem of his country.”
“But Swine Flu is a problem, a global problem that needed to be talked about.”
“Yes, certainly; but he only talks about it; what else? Nothing! And that’s the tragedy of our leadership. Malaria, which has been with us for centuries, does not get your so-called health minister’s attention as Swine Flu, which is a by-product of eating meat that is not well cooked. Here, virtually all pharmaceutical firms that manufacture drugs have turned to producing only malaria drugs. Have you turned on your television set lately and watched any of the local television stations? What you see are non-stop commercials on malaria drugs – back to back for hours.”
“But they are doing a good job. They are giving our people malaria drugs to help cure them of malaria.”
“So, why didn’t your Swine Flu Minister wait for the flu to infect the people and then he can give them drugs to cure it?”
“Because prevention is better than cure...”
“You mean prevention of swine flu is better than curing it; but malaria should not be prevented; rather, we should be plagued to no end, then we can on our own go shopping for drugs upon drugs to cure malaria, isn’t it?”
“But malaria has been with us for a long time.”
“So for that reason we should not find ways to prevent it? You know of the so-called roll-back malaria campaign. What is it all about? It is about receiving drugs as donations from countries that will in turn ship the ones for sale that give them all the profit that would appear as loss or charity in the donated ones. Why are we not talking about wiping away or preventing malaria if really we want to roll back? Why collect the drugs?”
“But how can we prevent or wipe away malaria?”
“Everyone knows that dirty environment breeds mosquitoes, which in turn cause malaria. Shouldn’t our campaign on roll-back malaria be a clean environment to wipe away mosquitoes? But how can we talk about this when we have not even put money to building roads? We have craters on the roads, we have open gutters everywhere that hold water and feed the mosquitoes. We just pay no attention to anything that could better the lives of our people. All we do is receiving this and that aid as if we are such a hapless people, with all that nature has endowed us with.”
“Well, at least we have many areas we can be proud of; don’t we? We have made a huge success of the mobile phone sector. Now we are not just talking about phone for all; all the people can have phones without any hurdles. That’s a huge achievement. We must pat one another on the back.”
“And after that we go to sleep; not so?”
“We are doing yet another one in the communications sector. This one is satellite for all. You will soon go to any shop of your choice, and as you purchase mobile phone now, you can buy your own satellite. It’s a few months to September 2011.”
 “Whoever gave you such a foolish idea? Satellite is not like mobile phone.”
“I am quoting Dr. Alhassan Bako Zaku, Minister of Science and Technology, on our parked communications satellite, and the replacement which the contractors have promised; he said:
 ‘NIGCOMSAT failed because of a fault in design. We confirmed that from China. It was the manufacturers' fault that caused the solar panels to malfunction in orbit. The manufacture and launch of NIGCOMSAT-IR is expected to take 31 months from the commencement date of the contract. Hopefully, we expect to launch the satellite by September 2011.
‘You may recall the event of November 10, 2008, when NIGCOMSAT-1 developed critical problems. The entire science and technology sector was troubled following the de-orbiting of our only communication satellite. Prompt actions were initiated. I am glad to inform you that on March 24, 2009, an agreement was signed with China Great Wall Industry Corporation to replace the satellite at no additional cost to the country.’ That is our man! And, I tell you by September 2011, there will be satellite for all Nigerians; and you can proudly walk up to any shop and buy yours. Never mind what we might have spent on that project. Are we not achievers?”
“Lord help us!”